Being an older sister to someone with autism comes with so many responsibilities. Don't get me wrong, it’s such an amazing experience, but life is not as normal as some would assume it to be. I am the oldest so its up to me to be a good role model. I am her big sister and sometimes its hard when she cant give me a hug and kiss or look at me. And I know its not her fault but it doesn't always feel good. I try to make good things out of the bad. When autism gets me down I love to help my sister to learn and to think that we are almost beating autism. My grandma is one of my greatest inspirations to help others. She loves to teach other family's and help them with their children that have autism.
Bonding is a huge part of mine and my sisters relationship. Even though she does not know what that means doesn't mean she doesn't need to bond with others. Once a week my sister and I attend St. Croix Therapy to do a bonding swimming class. I feel that it has improved our relationship greatly and really recommend it to others. Making sure she knows that she is loved by others is so important so I always make sure I tell her even though she doesn't understand.
One of my main issues in all of this was not listening to God. All my life my family has gone to church and bible studies. Around the age of 9 I stopped going. I really didn't mind that because I didn't understand who God was at the time. My family has gone through a lot and I have always refused to talk to God. I thought we could all do it on our own without God’s help. I still sometimes feel that way today. There is this voice in my head saying talk to God, pray, pray but I try to find a way to ignore it. I'm not saying I don't believe in Him I just feel it’s been hard to praise Him. When I found out my sister had autism I thought, why would God do this to us? Why would He allow this to happen to our family when He knows we already have so much to get through. And one year later I still don't know the reason but what I do know is that I want to share my experience and teach others about autism. Our family motto; Loving on the spectrum, where do you fit?